Green Wyvern Yachting Club
Cameron describes the annual treasure trove to be found in the bilges before winter maintenance begins.
Once the de-rigging party is over, work really starts . . . or hopes to start . . . on winter maintenance. This year has been slightly different in that boatyard problems have meant a long delay before the boat came out of the water and moving into the shed at Bells.
Previous years have seen Maeve, Sparklet, Nyanza, Puck and Shruff, all safely ensconced at Bells by mid November. This year, however, it transpired that Bells have sold their top two sheds to Brooms and, consequently, five into two won't go. Instead of undercover storage being available for five, only two boats could be accommodated; the remainder being offered outside storage. Sparklet and Puck are therefore outside, Nyanza is at Reedham.
This is not the end of the story since the equipment that was previously stored in the large sheds at Bells had to be moved into the bottom shed until another was erected. At last this has been done and Maeve and Shruff are now under cover and work has commenced.
Owners can learn a lot from club weeks and 'private' hirers at this time of year. Can the older members of the Club remember the time spent on the last afternoon of a cruise and the efforts that went into returning the boat to Banhams, or wherever, in a cleaner state than that which it was collected six days previously? Cutlery checked and washed, crockery checked and washed, blankets shaken and folded, cooker and storage lockers checked and cleaned, checks that the boat had the same number of fenders, kedges and mudweights that we started out with and, finally, all floorboards lifted and the bilges cleaned and sometimes washed out. It was as if the Club did not want any evidence of its activities to be apparent to the hiring boatyard and subsequent hirers.
How times have changed! Clambering aboard at change-over weekends, or later in the week after a private weekend, it is all there. The remains of corned beef hash in the oven, or the glutinous mass of rice in a pan in the aft locker, are archaeological evidence of a previous life. Never mind, put the kettle on, have a cup of tea, and then wash up . . . assuming they've left some water. Why complain? . . . just resolve not to wash up after your last meal and leave it to the poor bugger coming after you.
Having got the boat 'clean' and tidy again, you cast off, have a sail (assuming the sails are in one piece) and make your first mooring. Funny! There were four fenders at the start of the year. Where has the fourth gone? Another curse, a mental note to write something in the Newsletter and start preparing a meal. The gas runs out half way through . . . the bastards . . . the spare cylinder is empty and the pub doesn't serve bar meals. No wonder the health of some members is in jeopardy when all you can do is drink and have crisps or peanuts for solids. Yes, I can hear you muttering as you read this . . . something about my state of mind . . . but, believe me, it can and does get worse.
Once in the shed, the time comes to lift the floorboards for the first time since rigging out. Oh joy, oh rapture, why did I bother to replace the cutlery? It wasn't thrown overboard, it's all there . . . gently glistening in the bilges amidst the sprouting rice and garlic. The bilges, if you did but realise, are a sterile environment judging by the amount of penicillin being cultivated under the well floor. Now the cabin floorboards. Just who are the plebeians that have been on the boat this year? An artist, perhaps, attempting to make papier-mache, judging by the newspaper pulp blocking the limber holes (and it looks like the Telegraph too!); some loose change, matches (used), a sock, a couple of pens and a mass of dog's hairs!
Dear reader, you may think this is a problem peculiar to Shruff but, rest assured, Trevor Potter tells me that he has recovered, so far this winter, some burnt slices of toast from the grill, the remnants of a sausage and beef burger casserole from the oven and an unopened bottle of Frascati from the bilges.
All is not lost, however, there are people around who do care. Humanity cannot be as bad as the picture I have painted. The latest discovery leads me to believe that Green Wyvern sailors are responsible people. The Health Education message at the present time is one which exhorts individuals to practise Safe Sex. I am pleased to report the removal, from the bilges in the forward cabin, of a used contraceptive!
If anyone wishes to claim any of the above mentioned articles would they please contact me?
CRDC
1991